Realizations
by nisch
Summary: when kahoko had a series of weird dreams concerning azuma she figured that it might be time to assess her feelings.
1. The Dream

Realizations

By: nIsch

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own La Corda. No copyright infringement is intended.

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_It was a moonless night, only the stars serve as means of illuminations. It was dark, but strangely enough, I could feel people staring at me. 'Be brave Kahoko!' Not so far from where I was standing, I could see a bright light. I am lost and I do not know where I am, that's why I decided to go to the light. _

_I was nearing the source of illumination and I could finally breathe easy. I arrived at the town plaza where a lot of people were gathered. There seems to be a festival going on. 'So, that was why the place is alit, there's a festival. I wonder if they could tell me where I am.' The townspeople haven't noticed me yet and I was thankful, I hate crowds after all. I was about to approach a young girl when someone noticed me. The festivities stopped and everyone stared at me. 'Great! Now I look like an idiot.'_

"_Uhmm... I was lost and I want to ask for directions." I said to the crowd, but they just stared at me. I don't know what to do. I was about to head back from wherever I came from, when I heard them laugh. The whole village was laughing at me. I could feel the tears threatening to spill from my eyes. I turned back and ran. I ran and ran but I could still hear the voices and the laughter. There were people beside the road and they seem to be laughing at me as well. 'What did I do?'_

_I was breathless from all the running; but at least the laughing stopped. When I looked at where I stopped, I saw an alley leading to a door. The door was made of oak and it was like the door you see on horror movies. The alley leading to the door was covered with old trees whose roots you can seat on. The leaves of the trees seem to block any source of illumination. In addition to the trees, the alley itself was full of holes and if one is not careful, he might fall to God knows where. Despite the scary atmosphere, I felt like these was the place I'm looking for. The door seems to beckon to me, and I found myself wanting to enter the door. 'Be careful, Kahoko, your treading dangerous territory.'_

_I made my way as carefully as I could. Luckily, I didn't fall to any of the holes. When I reached the door, it opened and I saw a beautiful ballroom. The chandelier was an antique, and the floor was covered with a beautiful Persian carpet. The walls were painted using light colors and in the far corner, there was another door. I ran to the door as fast as I could and when I opened it, I was transported to a bedroom with a handsome man looking at a window, with his back facing me. He has a beautiful, long, lavender hair that moves with the wind. I stepped closer and he looked at me. He smiled and reached out a hand to me. He seems to be waiting for someone—'no, not someone, he seems to be waiting for me'. I smiled and I reached out my hand. He took a couple of steps until he was able to take my hand. He gently lifted my hands to his lips to be able to kiss them. _

"_I was waiting for you, princess." The beautiful man said. _

_His face was vague, but I felt like I know him. I went closer to him and took his face in my hands. He closed his eyes as if savoring the moment. _

"_Don't tell me you forgot about me," he said with malice, "Kahoko." He uttered my first name with such sweetness that my knees turned to jelly. _

"_I think you need a little reminding" he said suggestively. He was leaning closer and closer. Our lips inches apart when he smirked. I closed my eyes, surrendering myself to him. Our lips touched and I could feel my whole body tremble with delight. The blood in my veins is singing and my heart beat triple time. He put his slender arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I responded by wrapping my arms around his neck. The kiss started innocently, but it was slowly deepening revealing to the both of us the power of the senses. We pulled away and we were both breathless. _

"_Do you remember me now, Kahoko?" He asked arrogantly. _

"_Yes, I remember you. How could I forget? Azuma, my Azuma." I replied breathless because of our kissing._

_He smiled and I could see his eyes flicker to my body. "Very good, my love." He said while nibbling behind my ears. I moaned because that w as one of my sensitive spots. "And you better not forget it." He said as he captured my lips for another kiss. This kiss was totally different to the one we have shared before. It was deep, his tongue entered my mouth and I sighed with delight. My arms moved as if they have a life of their own— they moved over his chest and to his arms still wrapped around my waist. We both know that if we proceed, something will happen, but both of us don't want to stop. He led me to the bed where he gently put me down, his arms tracing my hips. _

"_I love you Kahoko."_

"_I love you too, Azuma."_

RRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG!!!

Kahoko opened her eyes. 'Just a dream.' She thought to herself. Her eyes went wide.

"I did not just dream of Yunoki-senpai. " The flustered girl said to no one in particular. "Oh man, that's the third this week." Kahoko sighed. She was in no mood to think about the dream she just had. She was flustered, all her dreams this week seems to be revolving around one person: the incarnation of evil himself— Azuma Yunoki. To top it all of, her dreams involved Kahoko kissing her evil senpai.

"Aaarrrgghhh!! I must be out of my mind." Kahoko sighed again. 'What's wrong with me?'

Kahoko looked at the clock beside her bed and her eyes widened to see the time. She will be late if she do not get out of her bed and soon. She sighed and prepared to go to school.

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**Author's Note:** This is my first ever published La Corda fic. I hope everyone enjoyed reading. I got the idea when I reread "Picture Perfect" by Neon-Fantasy. Reviews are very welcome. And I apologize if the story is not very well written. You see, I am not used writing fiction, which is why the story is not fully developed. I apologize again.

Anyways, as stated earlier, I got the idea when I reread chapter 12 of "Picture Perfect" by Neon-Fantasy. So I researched the topic and came up with this. Dreams have always been a source of interest. Freud said that dreams is where our subconscious meet with our conscious mind. Dreams are also where we reveal our true self because when we dream the norms of the society is not imposed on us, ergo, we can act on our true feelings.

In the story, there are four important symbols namely: the crowd or audience, the alley, the bedroom and the kiss. the interpretation is as follows:

audience - The world around you. Fear of your private feelings or thoughts being discovered. Being under observation or watched.

bedroom - Sexual meaning, partnership, intimacy, relationship. Has subconscious implications regarding the activities here.

alley - a restricted or confining situation that you have to traverse on your journey. Limited options.

kissing - Someone you like and want: wish fulfillment. A faceless person: your basic desire being met. Someone you know casually and not romantically: recognition of harmonious vibrations. A celebrity: trying to boost your self worth. Adulterous passionate overtones: If you already have a mate, it may be time to spice up the romance. If you don't, its wish fulfillment.

I hope you will read the next chapter. Thanks for the time!!


	2. Introspection

**Disclaimer:** I do not own La Corda D'Oro. No copyright infringement is intended.

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Chapter 2: Introspection

_'I wish it's already lunchtime.'_ Kahoko thought to herself. Having just arrived at school after a long run, she was panting and a little breathless. She woke up late again and she had to skip breakfast in order to not be late for school.

"Kaho-chan good morning!" Hihara Kazuki a green haired, trumpet player greeted her.

"Good morning, Hihara-senpai."

"How's your violin lesson going?" .

"They're going great!" Kahoko beamed at that. Talking about the violin always puts her in a good mood. Having discovered the beauty of playing the violin during the annual school concurs, she took formal lessons to improve herself. Now, Kahoko is proud to say that playing the violin is one of her passions.

"So how's the band doing?" Kahoko asked.

"It's great, we will be—"Kazuki was cut short because of the screaming of fan girls.

"Good morning Yunoki-sama!" the fan girls squealed.

"Good morning, girls." Yunoki Azuma replied politely. He was a handsome boy with long violet hair. Moreover, he is called Seiso's prince.

"Looks like Yunoki is here." Kazuki said.

"Uh, I-I guess so." Kahoko stammered. She was already flustered, remembering the dream she just had regarding the lavender haired senpai. _'Good thing Hihara-senpai is not observant.' _Kahoko noticed that the green haired senpai is already approaching his best friend.

"Good morning, Yunoki." Kazuki grinned at his friend.

"Ahh, Hihara, good morning." Yunoki smiled. His fan girls are still fawning over him but he was already walking away from them. "Excuse me, ladies." Yunoki said politely.

"Kaho-chan, wait for us." Kazuki called to Kahoko. _'Shoot! And I was about to escape.'_ Kahoko thought to herself. She was afraid of talking to the violet haired senpai because she knows that she will only remember her weird dream and she will embarrass herself.

"Hino-san, good morning." Azuma greeted politely. He was wearing his usual 'princely' smile but Kahoko knew that beyond his façade looms a dark persona.

"Good morning, Yunoki-senpai." Kahoko greeted back. Luckily, for her, the bell began ringing.

"The bell is already ringing. I really have to go. See you around Yunoki-senpai, Hihara-senpai." Kahoko said. She was already running to avoid any weird conversation.

"See you around, Kaho-chan." Kazuki yelled after Kahoko.

"We better go now, Hihara-kun." Azuma said to his friend. But it is evident in his eyes that he cannot wait to 'talk' to his favorite toy. _'You can't escape me, Kahoko' _he thought and smirked.

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"Good morning Kaho-chan." Nao greeted. Kahoko smiled in return and took her seat beside her two best friends. The teacher went in and class started. Their first subject was Math, and when their teacher started to talk about polynomials and quadratic functions, Kahoko's mind started to drift. Kahoko do not like math but it seems that today her brain refuses to focus on the subject at hand. Her mind seems to drift always to Azuma and the dream she had the previous night. _'I wonder how it will feel like to kiss Yunoki-senpai.'_

"Waaah!!"

"Hino-san is there a problem?" the teacher asked the flustered girl.

"Uh- uhh- uh" Kahoko stammered as the teacher raised one of her eyebrows.

"Then, take your seat."

Kahoko quietly sat down in her seat. She was so embarrassed. Even her classmates were laughing at her and her best friends; Mio and Nao are worried about her. She smiled at them weakly. The teacher resumed the lesson without any further interruptions.

The class finally ended but Mio and Nao didn't have time to ask about Kahoko's well-being. The teacher arrived and asked everyone to take their seats.

"Hino-san, I would like you to read the poem on pg. 28 by Ono no Komachi."

_"yumeji ni wa  
ashi mo yasumezu  
kayoedomo  
utsutsu ni hitome  
mishigoto wa arazu"_

"Thank you Hino-san. Now will you please tell us what you think about the poem? "

"Uhmm… I think the speaker in the poem is in love with someone who she cannot have. And the only way she sees him is through dreams because in the real world all that is allowed of her are glimpses of him."

"Very good. Now to expound further on what Hino-san said we must first study about Ono no Komachi's life." The lecture the teacher gave was very insightful and the class did not notice the time passing by until the bell rang.

"That's it for today. Please remember that your papers are due on Friday. Class dismissed."

"That was interesting, isn't it Kaho-chan." Nao said while she stretched her arms. Kahoko laughed in response.

"It was so sad though, isn't it? She could only see him in dreams when she was so in love with him. I wish that does not happen to me though." Mio said. "Speaking of romance, Kaho-chan, has the 'Violin Romance' finally happened? Are you in love with any of the concur participants. Kaho-chan is so lucky." Mio gushed.

"Mio-chan, nothing of the sort has happened." Kahoko answered.

"But you never know, right, Kaho-chan? You might not realize your feelings yet. Maybe you like Tsukimori-kun or maybe Tsuchiura-kun." Mio countered.

"NO!!! I don't like them that way! We're just… friends."

"Okay! I understand. No need to be so defensive."

"Kaho, are you all right? Lately, you have been spacing out." Nao asked concern evident on her voice.

"I'm okay, Nao, no need to worry." Kahoko answered. She flexed her arms just to prove her point.

"Kaho, Nao, let's eat. I'm hungry." Mio said. The trio started to eat their lunch and discussed the events of the previous day.

"You know, I had a weird dream last night. I dreamt that I was in a chocolate store and that I was eating every chocolate I could get my hands on." Mio said.

"Its wish fulfillment, Mio." Nao said. "Since you are depriving yourself from eating chocolates, your mind gratifies your body's cravings through dreams."

"Waah! Really? That is interesting. So are all our dreams a sort of wish fulfillment?" Mio asked, curious know what her friend was about to say.

"More or less." Nao said non-comitally.

"What do you mean?" Kahoko chimed in.

"I read over the internet that we sometimes dream what we want to happen. Sometimes our dreams can even be portals to our inner feelings because nothing is stopping us from acting upon our emotions. So, in a way, dreaming is a sort of wish fulfillment mechanism of our subconscious mind." Nao explained.

"I see." Mio said.

At that comment, Kahoko remembered her dream last night._ 'NO WAY! Does that mean I want to kiss Yunoki-senpai?!' _Kahoko blushed at the thought.

"Are you all right, Kaho?" Mio asked worried.

"I'm okay. I think I'm going to the rooftop. See you later guys." Kahoko answered and with that, she stood up and ran to the rooftop.

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The rooftop was empty except for Kahoko. She had feared that Tsuchiura-kun or maybe Hihara-senpai was there because the boys usually go there as well. But Kahoko was more thankful that Yunoki-senpai wasn't there. She needs time to clear her thoughts and think things through before she sees her senpai.

_'I don't want to kiss Yunoki-senpai, do I?' _Kahoko was worried over what her friend Nao had said. _'I mean the man acts like a prince in front of everyone but when he's with me, he acts like a jerk. He teases me, bullies me, he even forces me to do things I don't want to do like pose as his lover for example. And why does he do that? Because he wants to embarrass me, he wants to see me flustered! He doesn't even think of my feelings! He'll do anything just to get what he wants! He is really the devil's advocate! I hate him!' _Kahoko was fuming, but deep inside, she's lonely for Azuma. He isn't even allowed to do anything he likes. He has to follow in his brother's footsteps without overshadowing them.

_'Who are you kidding, Kahoko? You don't hate him. If you hate him, you wouldn't talk to him, you wouldn't agree to his plans. And surely, you wouldn't feel happy when he notices you. He might often tease you but admit it, you feel kind of special when he notices you. And besides, he acts that way because he's pressured. He cannot even play music after he graduates high school. You don't really hate him, you feel sad for him.'_ Kahoko's conscience reasoned out.

"AARRGGHH!!! Shut up! It's true that I feel sad for him but it doesn't mean that I like it when he notices me!" Kahoko screamed at no one in particular.

_'But admit it. You revel in the attention he gives you.'_ Her conscience once again prodded her.

Kahoko was speechless. She cannot believe what her mind was telling her. She does not like any kind of attention, specially coming from Azuma. But when she thought about it, she is indeed happy when Azuma notices her.

"I-I- I guess no one can resist senpai's charm." Kahoko sighed. "He is handsome and he is also very charming."

_'See, you do like him.' _

"Wh-what! I don't like Yunoki-senpai… do I?" Kahoko sighed once again. She has been talking to the air for a couple of minutes already. Luckily, no one was there to witness her making a fool of herself.

"I'm really confused. What does that dream mean? More importantly, what is Yunoki-senpai in my life?" Kahoko asked no one. She was trying to clear her thoughts but it looks like she is only becoming more confused by the second.

"It's because of that stupid dream!"

Just then, the door to the rooftop opened, revealing a tall, handsome youth with purple hair. Kahoko's eyes widened and her heart started to beat double time. _'Why am I feeling like this?'_ The devil himself was smiling sweetly but his eyes held malice.

"Fancy seeing you here, Hino." He said, voice dripping with sarcasm. ****

"I hope I'm not disturbing anything." When Kahoko heard his voice, her first impulse was to run but before she can act on her impulse, Azuma closed the door behind him and walked towards Kahoko. _'I'm doomed.'_**  
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Author's Note:  
**1. Ono no Komachi is a famous Japanese waka poet. She is a reputed beauty "who specialized in erotic love themes, expressed in complex poems." (Wikipedia).

2. Here is a line-by-line translation of the poem mentioned above:

in [my] dreams / along dream paths  
without resting my legs  
[I] go often [to you]  
in the real world, a single glimpse  
is different.

And here is a paraphrased version:

Though I go to you  
ceaselessly along dream paths,  
the sum of those trysts  
is less than a single glimpse  
granted in the waking world.

* The poem appears as No. 658 in Kokin Wakashu. (http:// www. classical-Japanese. net/ Poetry/ komachi. Html)

3. Thank you for the people who reviewed the first chapter. I really appreciate it. Hope you like this chapter as well. Once again, reviews and constructive criticisms are very welcome.

Thanks!  
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